Godfrey de Bouillon and the Virtue of Bravery
What kinds of suffering could you willingly choose to take on and turn into something good?
On a Friday night in the Spring of 1964, a young woman named Kitty Genovese was walking home in the middle of the night after a long shift working at the Ev's Eleventh Hour Sports Bar in Queens, New York.
As she approached the door to her apartment, Winston Moseley, a machine operator and father of two young boys, walked up to her and attacked her, stabbing her in the back with a hunting knife.
Kitty screamed for help and one of her neighbours named Robert Mozer looked out the window to see the attack. "Leave that girl alone!" he shouted and Winston ran off. Not realising the severity of the attack, Robert went back into his apartment and Kitty, wounded and bleeding, staggered round to the back door of her apartment block.
Winston then returned, found Kitty in the hallway of the apartment building, and continued his assault. He stabbed her again several times, raped her, took her money, and ran off.
Many neighbours heard what was happening but did not intervene directly. Some called the police. Some came to help her after Winston had left. But they were all too late. Kitty died of her injuries in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.
This unfortunate case became a famous and important catalyst for reforms including the introduction of the 911 telephone number to make it quick and easy to call the police from anywhere without needing to have memorised the number of the local police station.
The Bystander Effect
The case also caught the attention of two social psychologists from Princeton and Columbia university named John Darley and Bibb Latané. They were interested in how such a horrible crime could have gone ahead when there were so many opportunities for people to step in and shut it down.
In their research, they noticed when there were several people witnessing a situation where help was needed, people are less likely to step in and provide that help. And what's more, the greater the number of people in the vicinity that could help, the less likely it was that help would actually be offered.
They called this "The Bystander Effect" and identified some key factors leading to this unfavourable outcome:
When people are uncertain of how to act, they usually just copy the people around them. If no-one around is helping, most will prefer to stay passive instead of acting differently to everyone else.
When people are aware of being watched, they fear the judgement of others. If they try and fail to act in a situation correctly or sufficiently, they worry that they will gain a reputation for making mistakes and being inadequate.
People rely on others as a source for information. Instead of making up their own mind about a situation based on what they can observe themselves, they tend to accept the conclusions of other witnesses.
Shame
All of these common reactions can be collected under the umbrella term "shame".
I believe shame can be a good thing when it motivates us to do productive things that benefit ourselves and the society around us. Shame drives us to be honest, considerate, and polite.
But shame can also be unproductive when our fear of being considered different, incapable, or misinformed is misapplied to situations where action is needed in spite of the opinions of others.
Brené Brown is a famous academic researcher on the subject of shame. She makes a distinction between shame and guilt:
"Guilt is adaptive and helpful—it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort...Shame [is] the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging—something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection."
When we see others around us doing things that are contrary to our values (like remaining passive in a situation where someone needs help) it can be incredibly difficult to override the discomfort of shame and actually help because it makes us vulnerable.
When we lose our connection to the society around us, we become exposed to all kinds of difficulty and suffering; sometimes physical injury, most often humiliation and defeat.
But making ourselves vulnerable is often necessary. Instead falling prey to the bystander effect we must learn to embrace a certain amount of shame. In her viral TED talk, Brené Brown describes the approach of those in her research who were able to approach vulnerable situations with courage.
"They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary... They talked about the willingness ... to do something where there are no guarantees ... They thought this was fundamental ... Practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, and instead of catastrophising what might happen, say 'I'm grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive!'"
By counting their trials as moments of gratitude and joy instead of moments of unbearable, excruciating pain, people are able to be brave in the face of difficulty, torment, failure, and embarrassment.
I believe that when you are serving a higher calling, bravery is an inescapable virtue, required to keep you moving forward on the path.
Bravery in Medieval Legend
Godfrey De Bouillon is one of the Nine Worthies. In medieval literature the worthies were key legendary figures in the collective body of traditions, stories, and myths passed down through the ages. They embodied the pinnacle of chivalric ideals across different cultures and eras, and served as role models for knights and nobles in their pursuit of excellence.
Godfrey de Bouillon's identifying symbol is the Jerusalem cross which he used as a banner when he lead the Crusaders in the 11th century to establish Christian rule over Jerusalem. Before he and his company of soldiers and pilgrims could battle for control of Jerusalem, they first had to travel by horse and foot from Western Europe to the Middle East.
It was a long and dangerous journey travelling through all kinds of terrain, encountering unexpected obstacles like food shortages, diseases, bandits, and even wild animals ...
"When at length they had spread out through the shady parts of the wood, ... Duke Godfrey saw that a bear of most frightful and enormous appearance had seized a helpless pilgrim ... He hastened to snatch the distressed pilgrim from the butcher's teeth and claws and racing through the middle of the thicket with a loud shout he was exposed in the way of the cruel beast. ... but by an unlucky chance, as the beast was escaping the blow of the sword it suddenly drove its curved claws into the dukes tunic.
The duke fell from the horse, ... seizing his sword which had got entangled with his own legs in the sudden fall from his horse and the struggle with the frenzied beast, he held it by the hilt and aimed swiftly at the beasts throat but mutilated the calf and sinews of his own leg with a serious cut...
A man called Husechin ... attacked the terrifying wild beast with drawn sword and together with the duke he pierced its liver and ribs with his blade."
- Albert of Aachen's Historia Hierosolymitanae Expeditionis
Godfrey saw that the pilgrim was being attacked by the bear but did not hesitate or stand by to watch. He charged in first with a loud shout to intervene and help the victim.
But he was not the triumphant hero of this story.
He was knocked off his horse, cut through his own leg with his own sword, and some random guy had to come in and help him finally defeat the bear. We don't even know if the pilgrim survived!
But what we do know is that Godfrey was brave because he voluntarily put himself in a very vulnerable position. Not only in the way of physical harm but also the humiliation and embarrassment of failure. No doubt, he was scared of the bear but he was also willing to make himself look very stupid in front of a lot of people that were counting on him. Because of this, Godfrey embodies this essence of bravery and shows himself in all of these kinds of stories.
Bravery and Stoicism
Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius is famous today for his diary where he wrote reminders and reflections to himself. These writings have been preserved and collected and studied under the title "Meditations" as core texts for the Ancient Greek philosophical framework known as "Stoicism". Stoics believed that the nature of human beings was to be brave and courageous in the service of logical goals in the same way it is natural for birds to fly or fish to swim.
If anything gets in the way of doing this (be it the judgement of others, bad weather, or even bears!) the stoics saw this as something to face bravely and to simply adapt to, making the thing that appears to be an obstacle into the exact thing that you must head directly towards.
Here's how Marcus Aurelius puts it in the 5th Book of Meditations:
"But so far as some men make themselves obstacles to my proper acts, man becomes to me one of the things which are indifferent, no less than the sun or wind or a wild beast. Now it is true that these may impede my action, but they are no impediments to my affects and disposition, which have the power of acting conditionally and changing: for the mind converts and changes every hindrance to its activity into an aid; and so that which is a hindrance is made a furtherance to an act; and that which is an obstacle on the road helps us on this road."
In the 1200s, building upon the philosophy of the ancient greeks, the famous Catholic priest Thomas Aquinas wrote a huge encyclopaedia of christian theology called the "Summa Theologica" (the summation of theology). In it he listed arguments for and against all kinds of theological proposals including definitions and analysis of the virtues.
He lists "Fortitude" as an important virtue and describes it like this:
"Fortitude is chiefly about fear of difficult things, which can withdraw the will from following the reason. And it behooves one not only firmly to bear the assault of these difficulties by restraining fear, but also moderately to withstand them, when, to wit, it is necessary to dispel them altogether in order to free oneself therefrom for the future."
When the things you are afraid of can be reduced in the future by withstanding some fear in the present, it is important to do the things that make us scared even though they are difficult and painful.
A popular proponent of stoic ideals in the modern day is retired US Navy SEAL, Jocko Willink. Under his command, Task Unit Bruiser became the most highly decorated Special Operations Unit of the Iraq War.
He deals with setbacks and failures with one word: "Good".
"Mission got cancelled? Good, we can focus on another one. Didn't get the new high-speed gear we wanted? Good, we can keep it simple. Didn't get promoted? Good, more time to get better. Didn't get funded? Good, we own more of the company. Didn't get the job you wanted? Good, you can get more experience and build a better resume. Got injured, sprained my ankle? Good, needed a break from training. Got tapped out? Good, it's better to tap in training than to tap out on the street. Got beat? You learned. Unexpected problems? Good, we have the opportunity to figure out a solution.
That's it. When things are going bad, don't get all bummed out, don't get startled, don't get frustrated. No, you just look at the issue and you say 'good.'
And lastly, if you can say the word 'good,' guess what? It means you're still alive. It means you're still breathing. And if you're still breathing, well now, you still got some fight left in you. So get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage, and go out on the attack. And that right there is about as good as it gets."
Stoicism provides a framework for overcoming fear and shame in order to work towards things we know are best for us, facing difficulty in the present to bring about a better future.
It is the forerunner to my model for applying bravery, which I simply call “Godfrey”.
There are 4 types of suffering:
Unavoidable productive suffering
Avoidable unproductive suffering
Avoidable productive suffering
Unavoidable unproductive suffering
The four types of suffering have to be dealt with in four different ways:
Unavoidable productive suffering:
Sometimes there are things you just have to work through. You're stuck in traffic on your way to work. It's raining when you're out in town. Your washing machine breaks down. Withstand the difficult and remember what you will achieve at the other end of the suffering. Eventually you will pull into the car park at work. You will arrive home and dry off after walking through the rain. You can clean your clothes at your neighbour's place while you get your own washing machine fixed.
Avoidable unproductive suffering:
Sometimes there are things you can confidently walk away from. A stranger is rude to you as you walk down the street. A TV show you're watching is annoying. The pen you are using keeps running out of ink as you write. It is a simple decision to just stop engaging with these things. Don't talk to people who are rude to you for no reason, especially if they're total strangers. Turn off the TV or watch something else if you don't like the show that's on. Throw away the broken pen and get yourself a new one.
Avoidable productive suffering:
Sometimes we have the option of turning away from difficulty even though we know good things will happen if we were to endure it. Most people choose the easy route and avoid these types of suffering. A hard workout. Serious study and research. Saying 'no' to someone you respect. Before letting yourself be overcome with fear, charge into these difficulties and count them as blessings which you can be grateful for.
Unavoidable unproductive suffering:
Sometimes bad things happen to us that don't seem to have any productive outcome. When these things happen we can view them only as opportunities to teach ourselves to withstand difficulty in the present in a way that can be applied to productive difficulties in the future. If you can find a way to learn from your suffering, you can turn an unproductive obstacle into something productive.
There is a wide set of things that cause discomfort and suffering in the moment but can be adapted to and overcome to create lasting positive outcomes. Pain, disapproval, fatigue, hunger, deprivation, failure, shame ... The list goes on! Not only can you withstand these things, you can actually train yourself to actively enjoy them and consider them "good".
This is what happens when we are being brave.
Godfrey de Bouillon is our spiritual example for someone who embodies and identifies as a brave person. A world with more Godfreys, where bravery is considered a virtue, is a world that knows how to stop being a bystander and do what is right, even it means looking like a failure in front of everyone or even experiencing real injury and hurt.
When we do this, taking on a small amount of suffering in the present to prevent a great amount of suffering in the future, we teach ourselves to be adaptable and grateful for all the things that stand in our way because they make us more brave.
Godfrey de Bouillon is a key character in my world-building project called "Atherealis"
Atherealis is a beautiful land of peace and abundance organised into a confederation of 18 city states, each overseen by their patrons: nine inspiring women, appearing as The Muses of ancient Greek myth, and nine heroic men, appearing as The Worthies of medieval chivalry.
The Patrons rule with justice and wisdom as a council, meeting in a grand complex of civic buildings known as The Capital.
This huge collection of castles, cathedrals, palaces, and gardens sits at the centre of Atherealis and is home to an elite class of specially trained stewards, universally revered for their exceptional intellect, physical prowess, and emotional resilience.
These volunteers dedicate themselves to serving their communities on behalf of the patrons, living purposefully, according to their to their ancient motto:
“Vitalitas Prosperitas Agentia”
Their hard work grants them access to a vast library of profound manuscripts and magical artefacts concealed deep in the labyrinthine structures of the Captial. This library continuously grows as the stewards engage deeply in mysterious studies and experiments.
Who knows what treasures could be hidden within those cloistered halls?
In future posts I will be talking more about the muses and the worthies and how they embody key virtues that we can take into the future.
What kinds of suffering could you willingly choose to take on and turn into something good?
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