Psalm 127 and The Real Reason People Aren’t Having Kids
Recently I read two pieces of writing and they meshed together so perfectly with each other and with my own experience, I decided to write the following ...
The first piece of writing was an article in the Atlantic magazine:
The Real Reason People Aren’t Having Kids
It talks about how people of my generation and below are generally having fewer kids, or waiting until they're older to have kids, and maybe not even having kids at all.
They're calling it a "FERTILITY CRISIS".
Before I get any further into this I want to acknowledge that obviously there are lots of reasons people don’t have kids.
Some people simply can’t have kids, even if they wanted to. Illnesses and conditions can cause infertility, there are many that haven’t met anyone that they want to have kids with, and not everyone needs to be having kids so if you’re not having kids, I want to be clear I’m NOT saying "you must have kids". Far from it. Some people shouldn’t have kids.
But we're below replacement rate, less than two kids for every two adults. We have a shrinking population and this shows that happily married, sexually active couples who are fully capable of having kids - the kinds of people who used to have kids when the population was growing - are now actively choosing to avoid it, even when there is nothing technically stopping them.
And we care about that because…
Old people need young people to look after them,
Old organisations need young leaders to run them,
Old roads and telephone lines need young workers to fix them, and
Old debts needs young earners to pay them off.
This might not seem like a big problem now because it's a slow burn problem. But it is a big problem.
The article highlights that while we tend to focus on economic constraints - "the high cost of child care, a lack of parental leave, and the wage penalty mothers face" - this is probably not the real reason for the falling fertility rates that we're seeing in all developed countries.
Even countries that give generous subsidies and provisions for new parents like South Korea and Sweden are still seeing falling birth rates.
So the article points out that the reason that fewer kids are being born is something else ...
The writer says it like this:
"In trying to solve the fertility puzzle, thinkers have cited people’s concerns over finances, climate change, political instability, or even potential war. But in listening closely to people’s stories, I’ve detected a broader thread of uncertainty—about the value of life and a reason for being. Many in the current generation of young adults don’t seem totally convinced of their own purpose or the purpose of humanity at large, let alone that of a child. It may be that for many people, absent a clear sense of meaning, the perceived challenges of having children outweigh any subsidy the government might offer."
The second piece of writing is Psalm 127:
A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon.
Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labour in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat –
for he grants sleep to those he loves.Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court.
The Psalms from 120 to 134 are all "Songs of Ascent" meaning they were sung by pilgrims as they travelled from where they were living up the hill to the temple in Jerusalem, praising God in a big procession for Passover, Pentecost, and The Feast of Booths.
This particular Song of Ascent was written by Solomon, the king who built the first Temple in Jerusalem in about 1000 years before Christ and these songs have been written and handed down to us from a culture where scripture was the primary inspiration for the music and stories and the way people saw the world.
The song is split into two distinct halves.
The first half:
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.In vain you rise early and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat – for he grants sleep to those he loves.
This part hit hard for me.
I've been a personal trainer for 10 years and that has meant working early mornings and late nights, weekends and bank holidays.
And I've thought so often "Is this really worth it?"
And - honestly - the answer is no.
I've missed time with friends, family holidays. I've missed going to church.
I want to be part of the community and I can't be if I'm at work when I'm meant to be with the people I care about.
So it took me a while but just a few weeks ago I started a new job that's 9 to 5, Monday to Friday, and for me that is a wonderful thing.
People who complain about their 9 to 5 jobs have no idea how beneficial it is to have the anchor of regular work, constrained into a neat time box in the middle of the day, knowing you will always have time away from work either side of it. This is what I have gained.
And I've been telling people it's because I want work life balance but it's more than that.
The lines here are what it's really about for me:
"Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain"
The world values comfort, overprotectiveness, and personal gain but as a Christian, I struggle to find value in these things. For me, letting God do His work through me is about valuing the things God values and working hard for those things.
(By the way, If you have difficulty with the idea of God, for the purposes of this, instead of 'God' just read "whoever or whatever makes things happen the way they happen")
I’m Ben Fleming, and if you’re a forward thinker of any kind, I want to partner with you and use my expertise in health and fitness to help you become the person you want to be so you can build the future you want to see.
You and I can build a better world for everyone forever together.
Let me know what you’re working on!
God is actively at work, pulling tangible reality out of infinite potential and casting the extraneous back into obscurity and heat death.
He is at work when the tyrant is overthrown by a populace that will no longer comply with the regime.
He is at work when a hopeless man is brought out of the pits of despair and given a job to do.
He is at work when a father feeds his hungry child, even when the child refuses to eat.
He is at work when we are thankful for what we have instead of complaining about what we don't.
He is at work when we overcome shame and embarrassment to achieve things we never thought possible.
He is at work when communities come together to build a place of belonging and family.
He is at work when, in the midst of it all, we find the time to stop, be still, and reflect.
This is what God is doing.
He is making things happen the way they happen.
And if the things you're doing with yourself are not things like THAT then even if you are working very hard, the work you do will have very little meaning.
The Second half:
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.
Having kids is a lot of hard work. Its good work! ... but it's hard. I’ve got a kid of my own. He’s the best one and even he is hard work.
There are lots of things that are hard work but also good work. All work that actually benefits the generations that follow us is like this. All work that puts our own comfort and gain underneath the comfort and gain of somebody in need is both hard AND good.
And it's good because it's work with meaning and purpose.
But many are actively avoiding this work.
As countries become more wealthy, developed, safe, and civilised, fewer people live in the kind of deprivation that inspires the hope and drive to delay gratification and endure hard things.
So in accordance with this apathy, we find that fewer people decide it's worth it to have kids. And this actively makes things worse for the generations that follow us. But Psalm 127 states it plainly in a song that many would sing together in a crowd, some with kids of their own, some without:
Children are a blessing and a gift and if you have lots of kids you will not be put to shame.
In fact...
If you are worried about your ability to look after a child because of finances or time or any of the stuff people usually struggle with - this has been my experience - when you have the right people around you, the help will come.
That’s really why people like me go to church!
You can learn the bible and sing songs alone at home. But there's the stuff you don't see in a Sunday service that matters.
To join in with the work of a God who forms turbulent clouds of cosmic dust into living breathing people, communities of Christians give support and receive support when their lives are not so stable, especially the little ones that can't look after themselves.
I have received so much support from my church. I was going to try and make a list of all the help I have received as a new parent but it would make this three times as long. We have been helped financially, emotionally, and received all kinds of gifts that have kept our lives from falling apart.
I believe this is how God reveals his love to us.
This is how the goodness of God is made manifest to the world.
When we work hard to help others, we join in with the eternal life of a God who endures difficulty for the benefit of all.
Helping out new parents is just one of the many ways the church does this.
Another passage from the bible:
Ephesians 2:1-9
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient.
All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.
And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,
in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Unlike the culture of Psalm 127, the culture of the world today does not have scripture as the primary inspiration for its songs and stories and the way people see the world.
The primary influence is what Saint Paul calls "The Ruler of the Kingdom of the Air." The unseeable spiritual power that influences us to draw away from the things that God values and towards gratifying the meaningless cravings of the flesh.
The trends of the culture of the day can cause us to drift off God’s course and into uncertainty and worry.
But Christ has eternally won the victory over these powers and he has graciously given us a new way to live, aligned instead with what God is doing and inviting us into.
It's HARD work but it's also very GOOD work because it makes life meaningful.
The conclusion of the article says:
"People debating whether to have children seem to be seeking certainty that life is a good thing, that more life would thus be better, and that assistance, if needed, will arrive."
As a Christian, I know that all of these things are true. I believe in a God of vitality, fruitfulness, and life. A God that knows life is good and more life - new life - is therefore better.
Not less life. Less life is death.
I believe that God (or whoever/whatever is making things happen the way they happen) loves people.
So in his image we should also love people.
And if you somehow still think that there should be fewer people maybe I can convince you to think a bit differently.
I think there should be more people AND more community.
More people and more collaboration.
More people and more meaning, less hate, more love.
Let the people who follow whatever culture is out there in the world choose to diminish themselves.
But I believe in the eternal power of God and his people to do good work and transform this world.
So let’s bring more people into the world that we are building together - not for meaningless cravings but good, hard work.
Are you a Christian or does something else drive you to take on hard work, even in times of abundance?
Comment below or send me a message.
My handle is @GymnasiOnUK on Youtube, Twitter, Substack, and Instagram.
Like, Subscribe, Share, Bookmark, so you don’t miss the next post and take a look at Gymnasion.net for free stuff to help with your health and fitness.
See ya!
---------------
Are you …
Smart
Driven
Creative
Optimistic
Hardworking
Forward thinking
But also …
Tired
Isolated
Frustrated
Overwhelmed
Not sure where to start
I’m Building a Network
This is a brand new and growing initiative to bring together people who choose to make things happen. We need smart hard-working people to build the future